Spontaneous Combustion

This has no beginning or end or anything to hold me. I really like him and thank God, I still have some brains to know beauty is skin deep. If the guy hadn't opened his mouth, I still won't remember his name or cared if he was safe or lying wasted in some dirty corner.

Anyhoo, it was a lame shindig (Yeah, I complain too often but go too often too) and I spent most of my time there with him, as the people I were with cared too much about schmoozing and networking and doing the whole journo-on-duty crap. I was drinking - later he commented on how 'inebriated' I was. One lady - an administrator- asked us to dance. My friend's mum who attended even asked her daughter who the 'tall guy' was. Hahaha. Though the songs the band played were old, almost dull, he knew each one and his face shone like he had the secret of the world running in his veins. Why did it make me happy?I went home.

A few days later, a weekend, I called him to ask if he was attending another thing and he invited me over. He still does. He wants to learn violin together. He wants to watch some movies together. He plays amazing music and was part of some hard rock band. He says he doesn't like it anymore. He has a girlfriend.

Well, so far, we chat a lot and even talk a lot. I sms him lame things just to let him know I am alive - so far, I reek of lameness - and it makes me happy. Is liking or loving someone really better than the feeling of these emotions being reiprocated? I think it is.

My friends think he's playing his classy cards well and he's keeping his options open yet keeping a guard. One even thinks I should tell him I like him. Another friend thinks he looks like a grocery boy but I should still go ahead and tell him I like him. I won't. I like him. A lot. But I don't want to see another girl cry.

But he knows his Handel from his Schumann and is sophisticated enough to not care about driving a lame car. And these are important to me, or maybe I am just swooning. Even if he's not all that he is, or I think he is, I really am swooning.

We talked about women today, about him, I talked, about karma, about marriage and many other things. Our first serious conversation revolved around him saying something on sleeping with an ex. Mad mad mad. I told him I live in a world where exes don't exist. He said some shit about attachment etc. We both agree on getting bored of people soon.

So far, so unknown. For now I'm gonna take it easy and let the 'like' subside into nothing. More to come.